Well, I'm running on adrenaline right now waiting for a sick child to wake up again and need her mother.  Poor Eliza went down hill fast this afternoon and into the evening as she developed a considerable fever.  But I am alert and ready to go.  Some sort of extra mothering power kicks in when my children are sick, and I become hyper-responsive and attentive yet calm.  I like this response.  I know I'll be tired in a few days when it is all over, but for now, this just feels right when a child is sick.  And I have a little extra energy to write before going to bed (or not, as the case may be).  

It feels like the kids and I have been in a pretty good groove these last few weeks.  JB's knee continues to get better, but he still needs to rest more than usual and he's not ready for something like the hike the kids and I did at the wetlands last week.  Benjamin's eagerness to see the duck blinds at the wetlands  happened to coincide with my own desire to do a nature hike, so off we went. 

The  Lake Waco Wetlands are not a glamorous or spectacular display of nature but the quiet, the open, the water, the grasses, the birds...all make it a place so different from anywhere else in Waco that they feel like an escape.  Winter has a particularly barren kind of beauty out there, I have to admit, but my own appreciation of it was affirmed by the kind artist we passed on the way out who offered to show Benjamin her easel and paints.  They had a little talk about what she might paint.  

Another thing we did in earnest this week was clean.  I have just not been able to keep up with it all, but what a relief to just spend a whole morning working on the upstairs.  Benjamin knows the value of a clean room and can articulate the feeling of calm one gets being present in one.  He gets a bit frantic when his room is a mess. I know the feeling.  

As soon as the room was clean, Benjamin immediately dumped all the big blocks (above) on the floor.  At first I was annoyed. But then he started talking about his tower with a drawbridge, guarded by a cheetah and peopled with Mary, Joseph, and baby Jesus. So much more creativity, so much less complaining in a freshly cleaned room.  I think Eliza Jane was happy too.  

But then speaking of messy...these pics represent only the beginning.  It was actually an exercise for me as much as a creative outlet for the kids.  I was consciously trying to be less controlling of Benjamin while we did this.  I set everything up for success in keeping the (washable) paint contained, but knew there was only so much I could do. Benjamin is more interested in the experience and experiment of paint than the end product.  Someday we'll look back on his Jackson Pollock phase, I'm sure.  

While Ben's painting is a bit frenetic, he often surprises me with his ability to sit down to write and draw with calm and focus.  I was so proud of him this afternoon when Eliza was lying down on the couch with her fever.  I tried to explain to him why he needed to give her space and asked him what he could do to care for Liza.  He immediately got a paper and pencil and sat down to draw her a card.  He wrote, "TOO ELIZA" and then squished the word "LUV" between the other words because he thought he should have the word love on the card.  He drew a picture of Eliza Jane ("look mommy I drew her curly hair!") and the collage turtle that he draws on everything.  And it was just so perfect that I wanted to cry.