Here's our newborn with his little cone head, one year ago today.  The memories of that day are so vivid for me that is hard to believe that a year has passed.  On the other hand, the memories of difficult times with Benjamin over the last year are also quite vivid, and those memories remind me of how long the year has seemed at times.  So today marks one year of being out of the womb for B and the one year anniversary of the experience of giving birth for me.  I have spent so much time processing that experience this year that it does seem like a milestone for me as well as for Benjamin.  I think I can finally say that I would go through it again.  Someday.  Don't get excited.

I think the next picture is from Benjamin at 4 months?   And then below we have our one year old with a classic Benjamin face:  all scrunched up like a rabbit and making a whizzing sound with his mouth and nose.   He does this especially when he sees something he wants, and in this picture I'm pretty sure it's me that he sees.  At one year old, Benjamin has discovered separation anxiety.  He still gets excited to see daddy, but if I'm in the room, he has to be with me.  Sweet, but also exhausting.




At one year, we can start to see Benjamin's personality starting to come out.  He is a happy child, pretty laid-back, and filled with curiosity and wonder.  Even his separation anxiety is not very bad--I've seen MUCH worse.  He loves to be around people and does well with strangers and other babies.  So far, he doesn't seem too fazed by a crowd, but does have his limits.  His mischievous streak comes out when he finds stairs to climb and thinks that he is climbing away from me.  He squeals with delight when I "chase" him up the stairs.  Brazos brings out this side of him too.  He plays a little game with the dog that has something to do with taunting her with his toys.

At one year, Benjamin is going through an amazing period of transition to being a toddler.  Sometimes he still looks so much like a baby and then sometimes when he looks at me I see a sense of recognition, a knowledge of the world around him that makes him look like a little boy. One minute he is crying to be held, and the next he smiles proudly as he walks holding on to our fingers.  He fumbles and throws things around and then he turns blocks in his hands and stacks them with a amazing deftness.  In the morning he fusses and acts like he doesn't understand anything, and in the afternoon he says "bye-bye" and "bebe" for baby and "da" for dog and "da-da" for daddy.  He constantly surprises me when I try to teach him a sign and he learns it or give him a command like "put the duck in the cup" and he does it.

I can't wait for you to see him this year!