We are still recovering from a big birthday weekend for four-year-old Benjamin Henry.  Grandmommy and Granddad and both of his Smith uncles were there the whole weekend to celebrate and we had a friend and family birthday party on Saturday afternoon.  We've had similar backyard birthday parties for Ben the last three years now, and a few people mentioned how fun it was to observe how the kids play differently together in the same environment as they get older.  They play together now and run off by themselves rather than staying close to mom or dad.  Benjamin didn't need instructions this year about blowing out candles or singing happy birthday, and the four-year-olds lined up for cake all by themselves.  

They even sat down at the table together and worked on an art project for at least 15 minutes together. 

One thing that hasn't changed, though, is the way this kid eats a cupcake.  Wow.  What a mess.  

JB had been thinking of camping with B in the backyard for his birthday too, but it ended up being rainy and cold.  Too cold for a little boy, but perfect sleeping weather for a granddad with a cot.  Ben sure was charmed to have a cot to play with on the back porch.  

After the birthday weekend, we had a rather low-key Tuesday birthday.  I don't teach on Tuesdays, so we spent the day just doing things that Ben likes to do.  We had blueberry pancakes and then went to the park to swing and climb trees.  We had macaroni and cheese for lunch and then took a trip to the zoo after nap/rest time.  We picked up fried chicken for dinner and steamed some broccoli (the broccoli his actual request when asked what he wanted for birthday dinner) and then he got to hang out with his favorite babysitter while mommy and daddy went to a Patty Griffin concert right here in little ole Waco : )  It was a good day for all of us!  

I've really enjoyed getting to know Benjamin this year as he's started to take on more and more of his own personality and form the parts of him that will always be Benjamin.  JB and I both noticed on separate trips to the zoo in the last year that Benjamin reads a map very well.  We never explained the map to him, but he just looks at the pictures of the animals and can tell you how to get from, say, the gibbons to the playground.  I attribute this at least in part, for better or for worse, to fairly regular viewing of Dora the Explorer.  But he also just loves to figure things out.  Puzzles, games, and mazes have become some of his favorite things to do.  Much of his conversation consists of announcements about things that he has figured out about the world (whether taught or intuited).  

He's also a boy who loves his own company, hanging out in trees and looking at and talking to books that he can't actually read.  I forgot until this weekend when we had visitors that it might seem strange to find a little boy sitting in his hiding spot with a thesaurus open on his lap, yelling, "Mommy, I can't find G!"  

Well, I had written a bit about this girl too last night, but it seems to have disappeared, so I'll keep it short and sweet.  We had a little dedication liturgy for Eliza Jane at Hope Fellowship on Sunday on top of all the birthday celebrating.  What a joy to formally dedicate our 16 month old to God's care and the care of our family and church community.  

At this age she wasn't going to stay in my arms for long so she ran around on the little stage, but I decided it was a good way for us all to see in action the spirit of confidence, eagerness, and awareness she has been given.  I remember her being very happy during this whole thing, but it seems almost every single picture our friend took ended up with a pouty face!  

Even pouty during daddy's song for her--his setting of Psalm 139.  

How fitting that she is happy sitting next to granddad.   

Art festival time

Maybe something representational? 

...or maybe not.  We did stay a lot cleaner
than last year.  

I was remembering her at four months old
at last year's festival.  

Now she thinks she is 3.   

Go Liza Jane!  

Oh how he loves his paper bag puppets.  

And moving on...back in the real world these reusable stickers
have had a second life this week as window stickers.  

Whole minutes of entertainment!  

And back just a little bit more...visiting
grandmommy and granddad last weekend.  

I think JB's phone has the pics with the real
horses.  E thought this one was just as great.  

Chess on the Square in Sulphur Springs.  

And back once more to Wacotown.  

Story time with brother Ben.  Reading "like a teacher."  

But I don't want to change...

A kind of beach baptism for Ben...his first dip on Cape Cod.  

We are a few weeks back from a wonderful and exhausting two week trip to Cape Cod, Rhode Island, Connecticut and New York, and so much has already changed.  JB and I have noticed that the kids seem to develop so much during vacations...or maybe we just notice it more because of the break from routine.  Either way, these kids are growing, and Benjamin, for one, does not like it.

The ocean side of the Cape.  Wilder and colder.  

Most days of our trip were marked by at least one emotional episode about the inevitability of change.  At seemingly random moments (in the car, in a restaurant, reading a book) Benjamin would get seriously distraught about change.  "I don't want things to change; I want them to stay the way they are."  "I don't want to be four. I want to always be three. I want to be one like Liza."  Someone had the brilliant idea to tell B that one of the great things about getting older was getting your adult teeth:  "I want to keep my teeth!"

Sometimes these musings sounded even darker with thoughts about getting old and death and heaven.  And sometimes quite adorable:  "I don't want Liza to grow.  I want her to be one.  I want her to be our baby forever."  And perhaps most tellingly:  "I want to go home.  I miss Waco."

With cousin Jack in the sand.  Ben liked this part of beach-going best.  

We comforted Ben about these troubles and had many a heart-to-heart talk with the boy.  But two other things also helped.  After a while we encouraged him to be in the moment (we're at the beach!) and think about those questions another time.  He liked that.  And he also seemed reassured when we told him he wouldn't look or act any differently when he turned four.  Who knows what he might have been thinking would happen on his fourth birthday!

But lest you should think Ben is too serious for his age, here are some of the other things he likes to recall (frequently) about the passage of time.
Gleefully:   "Remember that time when there was a pull-up in the washing machine?" (what a mess) 

Exultingly:  "Remember when Eliza pooped in her high chair?" 

Delightedly, but with a slightly pained expression:  "Remember when Eliza pooped out a dime?"  

I have to agree with Benjamin about Eliza Jane right now though.  I want her to be one too.  She is a fun one-year-old.  We are all delighted to watch her discover imaginary play with her baby doll, with cars and trains.  She walks around much of the day humming the tune to "Where is Thumbkin?" ("Frere Jacques") and when she is not singing, words are starting to emerge from the constant babble.  Pretty soon she won't be the only one who thinks she's saying something coherent and intelligible.

Now we are back into the school year for me (teaching at Baylor) and for the kids (Parents Day Out again) and settling back into a routine.  We've found a good groove so far of staying consistent with some major things (same school and classroom for the kids, same class and teaching times for me) and dealing and even enjoying changes.  Now that Eliza is a little older I feel like I can handle some things that just didn't happen much last year:  cleaning the house (we had someone coming to do this twice a month for the last year, but we are going to try going without), inviting people over for meals, meeting new people, thinking more deeply about the things we are doing and the commitments we have.  

How beautiful to watch her run free on the beach. 

This summer, unlike the blur of last summer, I've had the mental space to think more about the class I've been teaching for, what, three years now?  I have refreshed my approach to British Lit, and what a difference it has made. The changes have meant a lot of extra work, but the extra reading and re-vising and writing have been energizing for me, and I think the students can sense that too. In both classes the discussions have been energized by debate and very real, thoughtful questions about the texts we are reading.  I know we are only through the first two weeks of school, but I'm hopeful.  I'm hopeful about the whole year and what it will bring as we all grow and learn to love growing.

Trying to touch with just one finger...

Silly on a school bus. 

Is this July in Texas?

Rain brightened everything up!   

Benjamin and I have both enjoyed some of Eliza's ideas this week.  We have had an unusually wet, cool summer here (which has been GREAT) and I have had in the back of my mind to take the kids out to play in the rain some time.  But it never seems like a good idea at any particular moment of a rainy day.  So when it started raining last week and Liza bolted for the door, I immediately thought of the ordeal of wet clothes, muddy feet, and whiny, wet kids.  I thought, well, ok, we can just go out on the porch....as soon as we got out, E was down the steps and out in the puddles.  

This bucket is the first thing to fill with water from a rain chain on the side of the house.   

Where is St. Francis' bird?  

Where is St. Francis' nose?  

I'm not sure you can see that it is actively raining while these pictures were taken.  We all had a blast.  

The last few Saturdays we have spent the morning hiking in Cameron park.  The first weekend we hiked for about an hour and we were proud of Ben for walking the whole way.  The second weekend we were out for THREE hours with another family with only a quick stop at a playground along the way.  It has felt so good to spend the morning outside in nature.  

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Another fun summer development is that Eliza and Benjamin really seem to enjoy being together sometimes!  They are both eager for baths and swimming together now, and while it is still a lot of work to keep the peace at times, there is also real delight in being together starting to emerge.  Benjamin is even starting to ask for Eliza when she is not around.  "Where is she?  I want to see what Eliza is doing. I want Eliza to come in the pool with me."  Wow.    

And one more great development is the completion of the first phase of the tree house!  Benjamin and I were playing up there yesterday evening before bed as JB mowed the lawn.  It's a bit breezier up there, and with a cold drink, I think it will be quite a pleasant place to pass a summer evening.  

A visit to Proctor Springs, maybe the only reliably wet, mossy place in Waco. 

Ben got to do all of his favorite things:
climbing on rocks, playing in the water, and getting good and muddy.  

A study in contrasts.  I gave each of them a little blob of dough to make their
own bread.  K's survived and Ben's...

...well, I don't think we tried to salvage this.
We also did a little painting project outside with similar results.
Benjamin was covered in paint from head to toe.  His friend was seriously spotless.  Amazing. 

We had a grandparent visit!  Ben got to stay up late for his first fireworks,
and here we are at the farmer's market.  E has discovered the game of 1-2-3 swing!

Didn't someone out there give Ben this silly straw for Christmas??  

Eliza finally got her way with Benjamin's bunk bed this week.  She has always been strong-willed, and that quality has been directed at increasingly more specific things as she has her awareness of the world has developed. Lately it has been climbing up the ladder to Benjamin's top-bunk, where he plays when he wants to be by himself.  She is also persistent with wanting to wash her hands at the sink like Ben, climb on Ben's kitchen chair, use Ben's art supplies, etc.  The pattern is obvious and predictable for a second child, but I just didn't expect, and really I have to admire, both her awareness and her persistence.

Anyway, I finally gave in and let her play up on the bunk with Ben and they had a grand time with puzzles, dominoes and legos.  It is such a pleasure to see them playing together.  And yes, I was standing there the whole time, keepin' things safe.  We also keep the ladder tucked away when not in use, so the top bunk is only a sometimes place, even for B.  

Mom, go away.  We were having fun without you.  

Magic Moments

Yesterday was nearly perfect.  I feel the need to document it in some way to remember how good it can be to be a stay-at-home mother during the summer months.  The whole summer so far has been going really well so far, actually.  I don't think I would have imagined saying that a few months ago, but yes, we are really having fun.  

The day started out with a bang:  JB whipped up some carnitas and tomatillo salsa in the morning before work.  Dinner done.  

One good choice for the summer:  membership at the YMCA.  Yesterday morning I got to exercise for about 45 minutes all by myself (lifting weights too for the first time since early grad school!).  For much of this time I can see my children (If I want to!) through a window in the childcare room.  Awesome. Ben likes going because we either get to swim or do the playground after I exercise.  And ever since I told him that I feel happy when I get to exercise, he asks me if I feel happy when I get back.  I always am.  

E loved seeing me on the TV at the museum.  So dear to see her so excited.  

The kids didn't nap very well (I did say nearly perfect), so we went ahead to the children's museum for the afternoon, and they did great.  I love to see Eliza's developing interests. Auntie Karen will be pleased to hear that animals are huge.  The swimming turtle, the life-size plastic horse, even the tarantula, were obviously her favorite parts of our visit.  

B didn't show up on TV very well with his green shirt.  

On the way home, E fell asleep, so when we stopped to get tortillas for dinner, Ben and I got to eat some ice cream together (with E asleep in the car carrier next to me) at the Mexican ice cream place next door to the tortilleria.  

Some sort of magic happened when we got home.  Ben sat down with some play dough for a full hour by himself.  Eliza Jane found two little cups, a wash cloth, and a capped washable marker and played with them in one spot for a full 30 minutes.  I chopped some mangoes, avocados, tomatoes, etc. for a salad and got supper around while talking to Ben a little bit about his creations.  And every few minutes I stopped just to watch.  I think pictures would have broken the spell.  When JB got home, dinner was amazing, bed time was a breeze, and I got to talk on the phone with a dear friend for a good while.  

From a few weeks ago at the zoo.  

That was a lot of good stuff for one day.  Today was definitely marked by some tiredness and less than magical things.  Morning at home, afternoon trip to Lowes (failed to find what I was looking for) and a stop at the library where poor Ben was disappointed when we brought our stack of books to check out and I didn't have my library card.  The play dough and cups were not quite so magical, JB came home feeling a little sick, Ben conked out on the floor before he had eaten his dinner while I was putting Liza to bed, and the leftover carnitas were good but we were more rushed eating them.  Sigh.

But it was ok.  Even a day like that is not really so bad.  A friend stopped by with fresh flowers from her yard.  Eliza laughed most of the way through Lowes.  I got to read a few good books with Benjamin.  But the reality is that none of these incidental things (good or bad) matter as much as how I handled them.  And all I will say for now (the summer is not half over after all) is that I am doing ok.  I pray for the grace for this to continue.  

Also from a few weeks ago  on a trip to the farmer's market.  

A previous trip to the museum with dinosaur tail.  

happy father's day

This mother got to go out all by herself on Father's day, and this is what I came home to.  Benjamin was asleep upstairs in his bed.  I attended the baptism of a friend's baby and JB stayed home to take care of a sick Benjamin and a fussy baby.  JB can get her to sleep during the day much better than I can.  

I guess Brazos got some too 

The highlight of last week was grandmommy's visit, of course.  She played with the children and cleaned the kitchen while I did the cooking and got considerable work done one a furniture painting project I've been trying to do for ages.  And we all had homemade cream-sicles.  There is nothing like being able to zip around a store or a kitchen or up and down stairs all by myself without children under foot.  

On Saturday, JB and I got to take Benjamin to the water park all by himself while grandmommy watched Eliza (dad's get in free for Father's day!).  It was great to be able to spend time with just Ben.  Grandmommy is so good to us.  Next time I will make sure the tonic water is not flat : )